


waiting for a chance to prove that my soul, it belongs to you (show you that this love is yours to take)

by mingcat



Series: bokuaka week 2020 [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1 Things, BokuAka Week, BokuAka Week 2020, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Roadtrip, Travel, musings about alternative first meeting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:41:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25726078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mingcat/pseuds/mingcat
Summary: day 6: 5+1, roadtrips, travel, (musings about) alternate first meeting
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: bokuaka week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857703
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25
Collections: BokuAka Week, Bokuaka Week 2020





	waiting for a chance to prove that my soul, it belongs to you (show you that this love is yours to take)

Five times Akaashi intentionally or unintentionally (kind of) rejected Bokuto, and the one time he (actually) didn’t.

* * *

  
  


> _ Waiting for a chance to prove that my soul _
> 
> _ It belongs to you _
> 
> _ I just wanna go there, _
> 
> _ I just want a beautiful escape _
> 
> _ I just wanna move ya _
> 
> _ Show you that this love is yours to take _

  
  


“HEY, HEY, HEY, AKAASHI!”

Akaashi had barely turned around when he felt a heavy weight jump onto him. Staggering, he managed not to fall over. A loud, booming laughter sounded from his left. Turning his head, he inclined it in a bow of greeting. “Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto chuckled, slinging his arm around the younger’s neck in a sort of headlock. “Akaashi! The team is gonna drop by the udon place down the block to celebrate you first years joining us! Wanna come along?”

“Oh, uhm, no thank you. I have to get back home. Enjoy the udon, Bokuto-san. Goodbye.” He slipped out of Bokuto’s hold easily and bowed before walking away. Bokuto watched him go, gobsmacked and rooted to the spot. Konoha and Washio came up to him, tapping on his back with an exasperated sigh. “Leave him alone, Bokuto.”

“Yeah, man. Stop flirting with the newbie and c’mon.”

“But guys!” Bokuto couldn’t say much more before he was dragged off when the rest of the second years came running over to pull them up and away to the place of delicious noodles and reheated beef. Bokuto scrambled about half heartedly but resigned himself to his equally rowdy team. For a split second, he turned around to watch Akaashi walk away from him.

* * *

“Hey, Akaashi?”

“Yes,Bokuto-san?”

“I, uh, there’s a new movie in the cinemas that I think might be your type. Wanna go with me, say, on Saturday?”

Akaashi looked at him wide eyed, a slight flush climbing up his cheeks. Practice had just ended and the two of them were stretching next to each other off to the side. The younger paused, looking away. Bokuto already knew what would come next.

“Apologies, Bokuto-san, but I had already made plans for the weekend.”

Bokuto visibly deflated, a few snickers heard from his fellow teammates nearby. “Oh.”

Akaashi felt bad, fully aware of the older’s up-and-down moods and afraid. “I volunteered to help out at the community center nearby to help save up.” He scratched his nape, unsure and hesitant. “I don’t know if it’s your type of thing-”

“ _ Yes _ ! I’d like that a lot!”

Akaashi raised his brows, lips quirking a bit, as he sat unmoving even as Bokuto leaned forward into his personal space with an excited puppy look on his face. Noticing their proximity, Bokuto cleared his throat, leaning away with red cheeks. His brows scrunched up as he tilted his head in question. “Uh, I mean, could I come along?”

Akaashi shrugged. “I don’t mind, personally. The center’s been looking for more volunteers anyway.”

“Great then!”

They went back to stretching.

“Akaashi?”

“Yes, Bokuto-san?”

“What exactly  _ do _ you do at the community center?”

“I help out by tutoring the middle school kids there.”

“Oh! Oh, well, uhm.”

“You don’t have to tutor as well, Bokuto-san.”

“Well, uh, what can I do?”

Akaashi let out a small breath, pondering over the activities the community center offered. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. “There’s a volleyball program there for beginners.”

The older lit up. “Oh! Yeah, I could help out with that!” but then a pout came on. “But what if I can’t teach them right?”

Akaashi gave him a slow, small smile. “You’re an ace right?” he said softly. Bokuto nodded quickly. Akaashi let out a soft laugh, shocking everyone around since he was more of a quiet and serious type. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah?” Bokuto was looking at him with an unreadable look on his face. Akaashi met his stare for a few beats but looked away in the end. “Y-yeah,” he mumbled. 

“Thank you, Akaashi.” Bokuto said, looking down in embarrassment, a sight to see for the rest of the team. Bokuto Koutarou, shying away from compliments?

“No problem. I’ll just inform Mrs. Nakamura about you signing up and I’ll text you the details?” he made it sound more like a question.

“Yes, I’ll wait to hear from you.”

Silence.

“Bokuto-san?”

“Yas, Akaashi?”

“I don’t have your number.”

“O-oh, right!”

  
  


* * *

  
  


“So, you finally went on a date with him?”

“We helped out at the community center!”

“I don’t think that qualifies as a date, Koutarou.”

“It counts, shut up.”

“No, it does not.”

“Well, the movies didn’t work out okay, but at least I got to spend some time with him… actually, we only spent 10 minutes together before he was dragged into the building while I was brought to the gym out back. But! I was able to walk him home.”

“I don’t know what to tell you anymore but ‘tough luck’ dude.”

“Oh, shut up. I’m not gonna give up just yet.”

“How many times have you tried to ask him out now?”

“Well, just twice, but-”

“And how is it going for you so far?”

“N-not so well-”

“Mhm, yeah. Good luck with that you over excited owl.”

“You know, you’re of no help, you damn cat.”

“Yeah, and yet I’m the one you keep calling about your ‘boy problems’. Do you have  _ no _ other friends?”

“Oi, getting tired of me already? You ain’t getting rid of me that easily.”

“Say what you want you damn owl, but you still got turned down twice.”

“Oh, just you  _ wait _ until my hands on you next month-”

* * *

  
  
  


Indeed, the next month at training camp, Bokuto did attack Kuroo at first sight. The other just laughed, his smirk only growing more teasing as Bokuto introduced him to Akaashi. When the younger left to go to his room, Kuroo leaned closer to Bokuto and whispered in his ear. “Pretty  _ and _ smart, he’s a tough one man.”

Bokuto jabbed the other’s side with his elbow, smiling in victory at the pained groan of the other. Eyeing Akaashi’s form in the distance, he couldn’t help but sigh. “Which makes him even more interesting. My floundering will be worth it. I used ‘floundering’ right, right?”

“I dunno man, why don’t you ask pretty boy over there.”

“You literally are of no help.”

“Goodluck finding someone who’ll practice with you after training, then.”

“Wait, no, Kuroo come back!”

* * *

  
  
  


“Akaashi, please! It’s just one night! Just one!” Bokuto whined as he trudged behind the younger. The sun was setting, painting the sky ablaze. The two were walking home together, a habit they picked up through the year. They were much closer now compared to when they first met but Bokuto still hasn’t given up.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto-san. But I really can’t join you on your camping trip.”

“Can’t I say or do anything to make you change your mind?” he had converted to tugging on the back of the younger’s school jacket to try and get his attention, to no avail.

Akaashi sighed. “I really can’t.”

Bokuto huffed. “Then come with us next year! C’mon, let that be your graduation gift to me.”

Something twisted Akaashi’s heart with those words but he ignored it. “Bold of you to assume I would get you any gift when you graduate, Bokuto-san.”

“Akaashi!”

Akaashi took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. “We’ll see, Bokuto-san. But I really can’t join you this time.”

“Okay.”

Akaashi never liked it when Bokuto became sad. Sighing, he took out a lollipop from his pocket and offered it to the older, Bokuto lighting up like the flip of a switch. Happily accepting it, Bokuto hummed a little song beneath his breath as he began to unwrap the sweet thing. Akaashi watched him with a soft smile. He liked it a lot more when Bokuto was happy and smiling.

* * *

  
  
  


It was another summer training camp, a school from Miyagi joining them that year and making the camp feel a whole lot more competitive and a whole lot more fun. New friends and bonds were made. Akaashi had made the regular lineup and was voted vice-captain. This consequently meant that he had to accompany Bokuto when he stayed later for more practice. Kuroo was there, like always. But there was a new addition to their little practice group.

“Tsukishima-san, please forgive the two of them if they become overly annoying and overbearing.” Akaashi said to the tall blonde first year who was scowling at the squabbling older men.

“Thank you for the concern, Akaashi-san.” Tsukishima mumbled back.

They had just finished up, the other three barely convincing Bokuto to stop for the night. They bid goodbye as they went their separate way to their respective rooms. Bokuto and Akaashi walked side by side, content in the silence. But Bokuto was restless. And maybe not as content as he wanted to be. They were close. Close enough that if he were to just…

A slight brush.

Bokuto watched his reaction for anything. Akaashi didn’t react. Hesitantly, he tried again.

Another brush, this one much more felt.

Bokuto saw in his peripheral vision how Akaashi tensed ever so slightly, faltering, and then moved away. That slight shuffle step away wouldn’t normally be noticed, but Bokuto was watching him.

Oh.

Bokuto felt something in him break, that surging feeling of a low rising to his skin but for some reason the tide stops, barely touching the surface of him. He felt sad, yeah, the guy he’s been pining for for a long while now just rejected his advance but still.

_ Which makes him even more interesting. My floundering will be worth it. _

Worth it.

Akaashi was worth it.

So Bokuto smiled to himself, sucking it up.

He could wait a little longer.

> _ And now we're driving over, _
> 
> _ Fears that makes us feel like we're not enough _
> 
> _ Yeah, we're flying up, closer _
> 
> _ Dancing on the edge of the world above _

  
  


* * *

  
  


“I can’t believe you guys are graduating already,” Anahori choked on his sobs, dropping his head to conceal the tears. The whole team chuckled, some of them getting teary eyed as well. Bokuto came up to the first year and patted him on the back with a bit too much force. “Oi! We’re not dying! Enough crying now!”

“Bokuto-san, leave them be for once.”

The team watched with small smiles and teary eyes as Bokuto literally brightened as he turned and bounded for Akaashi who looked like he was already expecting the sudden jump as he opened his arms to catch the loud older. They shared subtle looks between each other as they watched Akaashi scold Bokuto while the older tried to ‘prove his innocence’. They collectively prayed that those two would finally get together. It was just a matter of time, so they hoped that the time was soon. They were tired of the pining, it was as infuriating as it was amusing.

“Oi!” they all glanced at their captain who held their vice-captain in a headlock. “What do you guys say to one last game?”

Tears forgotten, they all smiled and laughed, dragging each other towards the gym. “Let’s go!”

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Bokuto-san, any farewell words for us?”

The whole team was scattered around, lying on the floor staring at the ceiling as they rode the remaining high of the last set they played. It was well past dark already but they still wanted to play a little bit more, even if they felt like they were about to faint with exhaustion.

Bokuto rested with his hands extended behind him for support, feet wiggling in front of him, as he too looked up at the ceiling of fluorescent lights. He hummed. “There’s not really much I could tell you guys. You already know to play your best and to not think of the far future but of the present. I told this to Akaashi once, to focus on the point ahead and the next move instead of thinking of it as an entire thing. It’s not exactly easy, and it’s not entirely impossible. You just have to have fun with it! Eh, something along those lines. Was that right, Akaashi?”

“It was close enough, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto chuckled, standing up and looking at all his teammates in the eye. “Oi, stop looking so sad! This isn’t the end!” he sighed before looking back up. His smile wasn’t exactly sad, but more reminiscing. “There’s no use in being sad and regretful. It’s okay to lose. We just have to keep going forward. There’s always tomorrow to be excited about, you know? So, that being said, always do your best, yeah?”

Akaashi always admired how Bokuto looked when he was at his best. He watched how the older’s eyes shined and how his laughter echoed in his voice. Bokuto was the type of person you’d never want to take your eyes off of.He was a star, the type you would make a wish upon. No, Akaashi thought, he was not a shooting star, but a star that shined the brightest and was ever constant.

He was the type of star that would guide you to your destination.

As Akaashi looked up at Bokuto, he wondered yet again what that destination was.

Bokuto felt his attention on him and looked down at the younger, giving him a wide smile. Akaashi smiled back.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“Akaashi," a nervous chuckle. "Little bit of help?"

They had all finally said their final goodbyes to the thirds years, cleaning up the gym together one last time. The others had gone on ahead when the Akaashi insisted they would do the rest. All that was left was the net that needed to be taken down and into the closet. Akaashi had already finished with the other side so he came over to Bokuto who had somehow managed to entangle himself in the ropes of the net. Akaashi let out a breath, shaking his head as he deftly entangled the pouting older. He was at the last few knots when he took a small step back and slipped on the net on the floor, letting out a small gasp.

"Akaashi!"

Bokuto was quick to wrap his one free arm around the younger's waist, pulling him in between himself and the pole. Akaashi stared back at the older as he leaned against the pole, the strong arm around his waist felt like a hot iron, searing and marking his skin. They gazed into each other's eyes, near breathless. Bokuto's eyes slowly drifted down. Akaashi's heart began to race and pound against his chest. Subconsciously, they both began to lean in, just a few more inches, a breath away…

Akaashi’s breath hitched, his head turning away. Bokuto froze, moving away and letting Akaashi go. The younger stumbled off of the post, eyes shaky and a little bit wild. Bokuto knew the other was overthinking like he always did, but before he could even call out his name Akaashi had taken off in a sprint, leaving behind a sad Bokuto who still had his pinky stuck in the net.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Eh? You left him still stuck in the net?” Akaashi could hear the shock and disappointment in Tsukishima’s voice. He groaned, pressing at the bridge of his nose and then dropping his hand, digging his fingers into his palm. It’s become a habit of his whenever he began to spiral, so his palms would occasionally feel sore. “I freaked out and I couldn’t think straight.”

“Yes, I noticed that.”

“You’re starting to act like a smartass, Tsukishima-san.”

“I thought you called me cause you wanted honesty, Akaashi-san.”

Akaashi dug his nails harder, holding back a yelp of pain. “Fine, tell me honestly, then. What do you think?”

“Of what you did or of what you should do?”

“Both, I guess.”

“Well, I’m no expert on these things so I’m still a bit confused why you even called me out of all people-”

“Cause you won’t have any biased opinions.”

Tsukishima sighed through the phone. “Well, I don’t have to tell you that it was wrong of you to just run away. Why  _ do _ you run away, Akaashi-san?”

Akaashi couldn’t answer right away but Tsukishima didn’t push, just waited. It was hard for Akaashi to admit something out loud when he refused to even think about it. After a while, he let out a pitiful chuckle, small and low. “It scares me, my feelings.  _ He _ scares me.”

“Because it’s new?”

“Because it’s  _ different _ .”

Tsukishima didn’t answer right away, waiting a few beats. “Akaashi-san, how about you voice out all those thoughts of yours? I think that might help.”

“Well,” akaashi bit his bottom lip. “The whole reason I even went to Fukurodani was because I saw him play once and thought that it would be great to be able to play alongside a player like him. At first I thought it was just admiration, but when I got to know him more, the feeling of wanting to play beside him turned into simply wanting to be  _ beside _ him. And that scared me. I’ve never felt those things before, and the way I thought of him constantly and randomly made me always wonder when things began to change. Or maybe things were always different and I just never noticed.”

“I’d say that was the case. You should’ve seen the way Bokuto-san would look at you. Even Noya-san noticed it.”

Akaashi let out a long breath, tilting his head back and hitting it against the wall. “What now, then?”

“I do believe apologies are in order.”

“Yes, I know that. But what do I do  _ after _ ?”

“What do  _ you _ think you should do after?”

Akaashi was about to say that he was just gonna go back to before an act like there was nothing when he heard Bokuto’s voice in his mind.

_ There’s no use in being sad and regretful.  _

Bokuto always did things with no regret, always giving his 120%. And if he still hasn’t given up on Akaashi after so long, then he must have feelings for him too, right? But what if he gets tired of Akaashi? What if things don’t work out?

_ It’s okay to lose. We just have to keep going forward. There’s always tomorrow to be excited about, you know? _

“Akaashi-san?”

Akaashi took in a deep breath, unclenching his hand. “I want to try.”

He heard Tsukishima chuckle. “Thank god, please put us out of our misery.”

“Is it really that bad?”

“I’ll ask Yamaguchi to text Kageyama to ask him.”

Akaashi clicked his tongue, chuckling low. “It was nice talking to you, Tsukishima-san. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

“You saved me from tutoring the tangerine, it was the least I could do.”

After sharing a few more words, they said their goodbyes and ended the call. Akaashi sighed, turning his head to look out his bedroom’s window. The stars were out and shining brightly against the dark canvas of the sky. He smiled.

The stars had always been so out of reach. But maybe there was one star that was just one step away, if Akaashi dared to take that step.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Akaashi couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He had just woken up and it was 8 in the morning and yet Bokuto was standing on his porch with a bright smile.

“Bokuto-san?”

“Good morning Akaashi! Sorry for barging in like this,” he laughed, rubbing his nape.

“O-oh, it’s fine.” Akaashi averted his gaze. “About the other day-”

“Oi, you don’t have to apologize, it’s fine!”

Akaashi whipped his head up at a beaming Bokuto. “But I-”

“Akaashi.”

“Yes?”

“You wanna make it up to me?”

“Oh. Yes.”

Bokuto grinned wildly. “Come with us on the camping trip.”

Akaashi tilted his head. Bokuto pouted and stomped his foot like a child. “C’mon! You said you would come with us on the next trip-”

“Actually, I said we’ll see about that.”

“-and you wanna make it up to me right? Please, Akaashi?”

Akaashi really didn’t like it when the older was sad, that feeling only grew when he accepted his feelings. Bokuto looked into his eyes with an emotion he was slowly understanding.

“Alright.”

“Huh?”

“Alright, I’ll come along.”

“Eh?! Really Akaashi? You’re not joking rihgt now right? Akaashi, tell me you’re not lying!”

Akaashi smiled for the first time that morning. “I’m not lying, Bokuto-san.”

Akaashi didn’t think the other could brighten up even more but he just keeps getting proven wrong.

“Hey, hey, hey, this is gonna be great! Kuroo owes me money now, he said you wouldn’t come this year. Ha, I can’t wait to see his face when I show up with you ne-”

“Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto stopped his ranting to look at him, much like an obedient puppy. “Yes?”

Akaashi studied him for a while. The golden eyes, the strong build, the spiky grey and white hair. He felt the tendrils of doubt twist his veins.

_ He was the type of star that would guide you to your destination. _

As Akaashi took that step and closed the distance between them, he realized that it didn’t matter what or where the destination was. It only mattered that he spent the journey with Bokuto by his side.

_ There’s always tomorrow to be excited about, you know? _

Another step, a pull, a gasp, a skip in their heartbeats. Soft lips brushed and pressed, Akaashi pulled away to stare at a wide eyed Bokuto. He smiled softly, playing with the hair on Bokuto’s nape. “I hope that made up for the other day.”

Bokuto’s eyes widened. Akaashi noticed that they began to water. All of a sudden, he felt Bokuto’s strong yet gentle hands cup his cheeks to bring him in for a longer, deeper kiss. “Worth it. So, so worth it.” Bokuto whispered against his lips. Akaashi brought him in for another kiss, not caring or thinking about anything else except what and who was right in front of him.

> _ Now I'm feeling like you're with me _
> 
> _ As my heart's pouring on my sleeve _
> 
> _ I don't want this rush to go _
> 
> _ Oh I'm trying to let you know _

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Oh? What is this?” Kuroo teased as he saw Bokuto and Akaashi approach him and the others with their hands linked. He laughed loudly. “Akaashi-san, I really want to congratulate you and say ‘finally’, but you just costed me a lot of money.”

“Oi, a meal doesn’t cost much.”

“It does when you’re the one ordering, you damn owl.”

Akaashi smiled bashfully, looking down with red cheeks. “Thank you, Kuroo-san.”

“Heh, you guys deserve it. I’m just gonna ask a favour that you guys don’t do it in the tents since they’re, you know, thin and you can hear all the little sounds and everything.”

“Kuroo, you damn cat-”

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Akaashi.’

The younger woke up to Bokuto wearing a jacket, kneeling by his side with an excited smile.

“Why are you awake so early, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi whispered as he sat up.

“Come watch the stars with me, Akaashi.” Bokuto whispered back, already handing Akaashi his own jacket. Nodding, Akaashi gratefully accepted it with a barely there peck to Bokuto’s cheek, chuckling softly at the red that blossomed on the older’s face.

That’s how they found themselves in the middle of a clearing of wildflowers, lying on the soft earth with the blanket of stars above them. Akaashi laid against Bokuto’s chest, right over where his heart was. He could hear every beat and skip. Bokuto had one arm wrapped around Akaashi, the other one behind his head to act as a pillow.

“Akaashi?” he asked softly.

“Yeah?” the younger answered in equal quietness.

“Do you believe in alternate universes?”

“Hm? What brought this on?”

“Just answer it, c’mon.”

Akaashi chuckled at the whine in the other’s voice. “I haven’t really thought about that. Do you believe in them, Bokuto-san?”

“Yup! I believe there are other versions of us living different lives somewhere out there.”

Akaashi hummed again, nuzzling closer to the older in his still slightly drowsy state. “Do you think they’re together as well?”

“I hope so! I like to think that we’d finish a way to each other in every universe.”

“Bokuto-san, that sounds very cheesy.”

“It’s called being romantic, Akaashi.”

Akaashi hummed happily. No one spoke for a while.

“Bokuto-san.”

“Yeah?”   
  


“Do you think one of my other selves didn’t go to Fukurodani?”

“Oh? Well, it’s a possibility.”

“Do you think we would have still met?”

“Of course we would.”

“How?”

Bokuto hummed, reaching a hand skyward, tracing the stars. “We’d probably meet in a tournament. I’d see you from across the net and probably try to show off to the pretty setter of the rival team.”

Akaashi blushed, but urged the older to go on.

“I’d probably annoy the coach to keep having practice matches with your team. I’d try to flirt with you at every chance. You’d probably also just shrug me off.”

Bokuto chuckled as Akaashi frowned up at him. “It’s fine, it never bothered me. I’d still annoy you until you finally go out with me.”

“What if either or both of us didn’t play volleyball?”

“Eh? Hm, I guess we could’ve met on a playground as kids, or maybe we’d bump into each on the street on the way to school. Or maybe it would take us longer to meet. Maybe in a cafe when we’re older, or in an office or something else. Eh, honestly it doesn’t matter. We’d still meet one way or another.”

Another moment of silence.

“Bokuto-san.”

“Yes, Akaashi?”

Akaashi leaned up a bit to kiss Bokuto’s jaw. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Bokuto smiled. Chuckling, he brought the other closer to him, burying his face in the younger’s hair. “You’re worth it. You’ll always be worth it.”

> _ I just wanna go there, _
> 
> _ I just want a beautiful escape _
> 
> _ I just wanna move ya _
> 
> _ Show you that this love is yours to take _
> 
> _ And now we're driving over, _
> 
> _ Fears that makes us feel like we're not enough _
> 
> _ Yeah, we're flying up, closer _
> 
> _ Dancing on the edge of the world above _
> 
> _ I was scared I couldn't show ya _
> 
> _ All this lovin' that I hold inside _
> 
> _ But now I feel your power _
> 
> _ I am here, and I don't wanna hide no more _
> 
> _ No more _


End file.
